Girls Night
by WaddlesThePenguin
Summary: One-shot. Severa takes her friends out on a girls night, with disastrous consequences.


**A.N: Hi! I just wanted to give you all the classes and parents of the girl children to clear things up later in the story. It's just a one-shot but please review because I love to know that people liked/didn't like it so I know how I'm doing. So, the kids:**

**Severa - Robin &amp; Cordelia, hero  
Morgan - Robin &amp; Cordelia, dark flier**  
**Nah - Nowi &amp; Lon'qu, manakete (duh)  
Kjelle - Sully &amp; Stahl, general  
Lucina - Chrom and Sumia, great lord  
Cynthia - Chrom and Sumia, falcon knight  
Noire - Tharja and Henry, bow knight**

* * *

**Girls Night**

Stumbling under the weight of the bags he was carrying, Robin walked back into camp with Severa, who was smiling and giggling girlishly. "Thanks for all the clothes, Daddy!" She said sweetly when they had reached her tent. "I loved spending time with you today!"  
"How come whenever we spend time together my wallet gets raided?" Robin grumbled to himself. "Severa, what are all these clothes for? You already have so many nice things." Robin wasn't lying. Every time Severa did what she deemed to be enough work (which wasn't much at all), she would find Robin and insist that he take her out shopping to treat her. Morgan never asked for a spare outfit, yet Severa had a pair of earrings for every second day!  
"What? Am I not allowed to have nice clothes that are in-season? Should I just be laughed at by all the others because I'm wearing RAGS? GAWDS!" Severa erupted.  
"Severa, no-one's laughing at you, honey, you're travelling with an army!" Robin reasoned.  
"Yeah, but Grima's dead!" She retorted. "We're heading back to Ylisstol where everyone wears dresses made out of gold or whatever! Do you HATE ME? Is that it?"  
"Severa..." Robin said sternly, knowing she was hiding something.  
"Fine!" Severa sighed. "It's for my girls night!"  
"Girls night?" Robin asked.  
"Yeah! Me, Cynthia, Noire, Lucina, Nah, Kjelle and Morgan are gonna go out into the village tonight. That's why I bought seven outfits! Go on, say it. I wasted your money on other people! Well I'm SORRY for being GENEROUS! GAWDS!" Severa explained.  
Robin struggled with the idea, trying to find some ulterior motive. "That's... That's... surprisingly kind. Go on then, have a fun night. But if you come home drunk, you're on armoury duty for a week, and if you bring a boy with you, be aware that I _might_ just cut off his appendages depending on his mood and yours, got it?" He said. He knew armoury duty was Severa's least favourite chore.  
"Got it! Thank you, Daddy!" Severa squealed, hugging Robin.

"What took you so long with Severa, darling?" Cordelia asked Robin when he entered their tent.  
"You know, the usual argument; 'Severa, you spent too much. GAWDS DADDY! YOU HATE ME!'" The tactician explained, putting on a high-pitched voice to impersonate Severa. "_But, _she actually bought clothes for her sister and friends this time! That's an improvement I guess. She's going on a girls night." Cordelia laughed. "What?" Robin asked.  
"How is she going to convince half of them to come with her?" She asked.

Robin laughed too.

* * *

"Morgan! I bought you something!" Severa announced, jiggling a bag as she entered their tent.  
"Ooh, what is it?" Morgan asked eagerly. "This is unlike you Severa!" The redhead pulled out the outfit Severa had chosen for her. "Oh, clothes." She said, somewhat disappointed.  
"Yep!" Severa said, unaware of the disappointment she had delivered. "Wear it tonight, we're having a girls night in the village with Lucina and the other girls!"  
"Okay..." Morgan said, unsure. "Sis? How are you going to persuade, oh, I don't know, _all of them?_"  
Severa laughed. "Have you _seen_ me win mum and dad over? This'll be easy! Come on, I know where Kjelle will be."

"Kjelle, quit training and start getting ready. We're going on a girls night!" Severa chirped.  
"What does this girls night entail, exactly?" Kjelle asked, stabbing her training dummy.  
"You know, drinking, flirting, chatting, looking for cute guys!" Severa said, not noticing the fact that Morgan was mouthing 'run' to Kjelle.  
"Why would I want to do any of those things?" Kjelle asked.  
"Because it'll be _fun_!"  
"No, training is fun. And I'd like to get back to that."  
"Kjelle. We are going out on a girls night whether you like it or not. You may train twenty-four/seven, but who killed Aversa? Me, and she was one tough cookie. So I wouldn't upset me if I were you."

Kjelle sighed. "Can I wear my armour?"  
"Nope."  
"Can I take my spear?"  
"No."  
"My axe?"  
"Definitely not."  
"A big stick?"  
"NO! Start getting ready. We leave at eight." Severa said, dropping a purple dress on the bench next to Kjelle and placing shoes on top of it. "And do something with that mop of hair, you look like you've been attacked by a fox!"  
"But Severa! It's only three!" Kjelle said.  
"Exactly! You don't have much time at all!" Severa said frantically, leaving the training hall.  
"I tried to warn you." Morgan said as she went after her sister.

* * *

The two girls found Lucina, Cynthia, Nah and Noire in the food hall, talking.  
"Hey ladies!" Severa said. "I brought you some clothes for tonight; we're going on a girls night! Noire, what's your favourite colour?"  
"Um, white." The timid girl replied.  
"That's a shame, your outfit's green." Severa said, thrusting a light green dress and shoes at the archer. Then she started going round the table "Lucina, your outfit's blue; Nah, you're pink, obviously; Cynthia, you're in white. Morgan's in black and Kjelle's got purple. I'm sure you've guessed already that I'm wearing red."

The four girls looked at her blankly. "How were we supposed to guess that?" Cynthia asked.  
"Duh, fashion sense!" Severa said. Another four blank looks were given to her. The girl sighed. "You look at complexion, hair, size, figure and other clothes to piece together the perfect outfit with the right colours, size and accessories!"  
"Why can't we just wear the same thing?" Lucina asked.  
Severa gasped. "Lucina, for a girl of your class and outstanding beauty, I'm ashamed that you asked that question. I refuse to talk about such ghastly matters. Meet me outside of camp at eight. By the way, you might want to do something with your hair."  
"But-" Nah started.  
"Nah." Severa interrupted. "Do you have any idea of the hassle I went through to find the perfect outfits for you all? GAWDS!"  
"But it sounds boring!" Cynthia protested.  
"Form a line, soldiers." Severa said coolly.  
"What?" Lucina asked.  
"I SAID FORM A LINE!" Severa yelled, brandishing her sword, Sol. The girls yelped and stood to attention in a perfectly straight line.

"Okay. I will say this once and never again." Severa said in an icy voice. "We are going on a girls night. You are going to go, you are going to wear these outfits, you are going to look glorious and you are going to have fun! Do I make myself _crystal_ clear?"  
"YES SIR!" The four girls said, saluting in terror.  
Severa smiled and giggled. "Good! I'll see you at eight. Come on, Morgan!" She left the tent, Morgan running after her, mouthing apologies to her friends as she left.  
"And I thought that _Noire_ had mood swings." Cynthia breathed.  
"I think I may have just peed a little." Noire squeaked.

* * *

"Morgan, you look fabulous!" Severa squealed with delight as she and Morgan walked to the edge of camp. Severa had taken her light blue hair out of their pigtails so it fell loosely down her back. Cynthia and Lucina were already there, Cynthia was sitting on the ground.  
"Cynthia, get _up_!" Severa yelled. "You'll get the dress all dirty!" Cynthia moaned and stood up. Her dark blue hair had been tied into one short ponytail at the back.  
"But I've been waiting for ages and there are no benches! You're late." Cynthia protested. Severa sighed, she found her best friend perky and fun, but she was so irritating sometimes.  
"Correction - We're _fashionably_ late. Nice hair, by the way. You too Lucina." Lucina had a small braid hanging by her right ear.  
"Once we told mother about the girls night, she attacked us and wrestled with our hair for an hour. We tried _thirty_ different hairstyles." Lucina said, shuddering. Kjelle, Noire and Nah approached, looking very much like they had before but with washed hair and wearing their new clothes.

"Well you lot could have tried a bit harder!" Severa complained. Then she eyed Kjelle's dress. Something was poking out at the shoulder. "Kjelle, what's that?" Severa said, reaching for the girl's shoulder.  
"Nothing! Let go!" Kjelle protested. Nonetheless, Severa pulled out a small blade from the shoulder of Kjelle's dress.  
"A dagger? Really? I've had enough of this, let's just go." Severa sighed, leading her group to the village.

* * *

They sat down in an inn and Severa ordered them some drinks. There was some minstrel group playing a happy tune in the corner and filling the silence.  
"So," Kjelle started. "What do you talk about on a girls night?"  
"Boys, obviously!" Severa said. "So, who's the cutest guy in the camp? Gerome's pretty hot. Sorry about this Lucina and Cynthia, but Chrom's pretty cute."  
"Whoa, Severa!" Lucina protested. "Let's stop there. Anyways, isn't it a bit degrading talking about our friends and _parents_ like this? What would they think if they knew we were sizing them up and critiquing them like this? I would hate it, personally."  
"Why, you're gorgeous! You could have any man!" Severa argued.  
"Fine then, how would you feel if Inigo, say, was taking about you this way to Laurent, or Owain?" Cynthia chimed in. Severa blushed. It was a well-known fact that the philanderer had a habit of constantly flirting with Severa.  
"Ummm..." Severa struggled. The two princesses had caught her out. Severa tried to hide it, but she didn't have particularly good self-esteem at times and she didn't fancy the idea of being discussed in the fashion she was using. "How about we talk about what we're going to do when we get back to Ylisstol then?"

The conversation was good and the meals they were eating were delicious. Severa grudgingly admitted that she really liked these weird, fight-enjoying, battle-ready girls. Then something caught her eye. "Girls, look!" She exclaimed as quietly as possible.  
"What?" Kjelle said, grabbing her fork like a weapon. "Assassins?"  
"No, Kjelle!" Severa said, exasperated. "_Boys_!" She pointed to the bar where a group of boys sat with drinks.  
"So?" Nah asked.  
"So, it's time for a bit of flirting!" Severa said excitedly.  
"You might as well be asking me to ride a Pegasus blindfolded, Severa." Kjelle said. "I can't flirt."  
"Don't be daft!" Severa said, casually sweeping her hair to the front of her left shoulder. "It's easy, watch this." Then she let out a loud laugh, catching the attention of the boys at the bar. She then nonchalantly tossed her long hair and looked to the boys at the bar and smiled sweetly at one of them as if she had only just noticed him, then turned back to her friends.

"She lived in an apocalyptic world and then went back in time to immediately join an army." Morgan whispered to Nah. "When did she learn to do this?"  
"I don't know, she's your sister!" The young manakete replied, equally quiet.  
"Yeah, but I don't have any memories of her!"  
"Ok. Now I've drawn him in." Severa said slyly.  
"So now do you go talk to him?" Nah asked.  
"Gods, no!" Severa said, making another loud laugh. "Nah, dearie, I'm so pleased you have enough of a lifetime to figure this stuff out. No, now we wait. We talk, we sit elegantly, and we laugh loudly every now and then to remind them we're here."  
"Why don't we stop toying with them and talk with them?" Cynthia asked.  
"Because... Logic?" Severa said, unsure. "Now, if you look over at the bar _very inconspicuously_, you'll see ol' Severa's magic kicking in. Lucina, laugh!" She whispered. Lucina laughed.

When Morgan glanced over, she saw what Severa has caused: the group of boys were talking quietly and glancing over every few seconds, eyeing up one of Morgan's friends. One of them looked over at her and winked. She blushed brightly, smiled very awkwardly, panicked and looked down at her plate, which had suddenly become very interesting.  
"Morgan!" Severa said very quietly, while still smiling. "You messed that up! You have two options when they wink at you. One is to smile back and do some cute thing with your hair. Two is to act like you never noticed. _Never_ be embarrassed."  
"Sorry." Morgan said.  
"It's fine. Big sis will show you how to flirt." Severa said. "Look. That boy on the right is about to wink in three... two... one..." The boy winked at Severa as she looked over. She smiled girlishly and picked up a strand of her hair, twiddling it cutely. The boy smiled back before turning away, looking back and smiling occasionally, which Severa returned. She looked at her friends and giggled. "See, was that hard? Aunty Severa's done all your work for you now. Just look over occasionally, smile sweetly, and they'll be flirting with us in five minutes."  
"Severa, we still don't know _how_ to flirt!" Kjelle said.  
Severa sighed again. "Just talk. Ask them about themselves, try to find a common ground to talk about and _be cute_."

Severa had been right. The handsome black-haired boy eyeing her up sat himself right next to her. "Hi." He said.  
Severa looked down at the drink in her hand. "Hey." She said back. "I'm Severa."  
"Moran." He replied coolly, moving a little bit closer to her. "Do you want another drink?"  
Severa looked up at him. "No, I'm good. Was there something you wanted to ask?"  
He looked straight back at her and slipped his arm around her shoulders. "No, just enjoying the view."  
_Oh, I like him._ Severa thought to herself. _Very much._ She moved even closer and felt his breathing quicken a bit. "The view isn't too bad from where I'm sitting either." She just hoped her friends were doing alright. As much as she wanted to check, she was _far_ too comfortable to look around.

It was _not _going as well for Kjelle, obviously.  
The boy had beckoned her over. He was blond and short, but he had a sweet smile. Kjelle got up, failed at walking elegantly towards him and slouched when she sat in the stool next to him.  
"Hey, beautiful." He said. "What's your name?"  
"Kjelle." She said somewhat irritably by accident.  
"So what do you like to do Kjelle?" He asked, placing a hand on hers and leering at her.  
Kjelle withdrew her hand. She did _not _like this boy. "I like training with the lance and axe, hunting, beating up criminals and lowlifes, and flower arranging." She said, smiling sweetly.  
"Oh."

"Hello beautiful." The boy who approached Lucina said. "How are you doing this fine evening?"  
"I'm fine." Lucina said. "How are you?"  
"A lot better now I'm talking to you." He said, sitting as close to her as possible. She blushed. Not getting the hint, he moved closer to her again. "So, do you want a drink?"  
"Yes please, just some juice." Lucina said, smiling. The boy sat too close, but he was nice. Then he whistled to one of the barmaids.  
"Oi, wench!" He called. "Juice, and make it snappy!"  
"I'm sorry." Lucina said. "What did you just call her?"

"Hi! I'm Cynthia!" The Pegasus rder said as the cute boy sat next to her.  
"Hi, Cynthia, I'm Kai." He said shyly. An awkward silence followed. "So, tell me something about yourself."  
"Well, I want to be a hero! Revered for my moves and how many people I can kill in one fell swoop! Are you gonna hold my hand or not?" She asked accusingly, gripping Kai's hand in a vice-grip. The boy flinched in growing terror of the madwoman he had approached.

"Hey." A boy came and sat next to Nah.  
"Hello." Nah replied. "I'm Nah."  
"How are you tonight?"  
"Pretty good." Nah said, feeling pleased that nothing had caused her to explode so far.  
"Do you want to see something... magical?" He asked, pulling some cards out. Nah nodded, giving up the hope of now actually finding the boy attractive. He showed her the trick and she easily spotted how he did it.  
"Look-" She began. But then she thought of a way to have some _real_ fun and stopped herself. "Can I... see some more?"

"Hey, cutie. How are you?" The boy asked Morgan. She blushed and mumbled something incoherent.  
"I'm Morgan" She squawked, panicking. What had Severa said? Talk? Maybe she should talk. But she'd better check on Severa first. She looked over and saw that the boy Severa was with was sitting with his arm around her shoulder, and whispering in her ear while Severa laughed. Yes, Morgan would talk. Talking was good.  
"Okay, Morgan." The boy said. "Tell me about yourself."  
"Well, the first thing I remember is waking up in a ruin surrounded by these weird creature things-"

Noire flinched as the boy sat next to her. He was very handsome; tall, muscled, bright eyes. "Hi. I'm Narro. What's your name?"  
"I-I'm N-Noire." She stuttered. She just really hoped he wouldn't touch her right hand. That always triggered her into a frenzy, as it was the hand that enemies grabbed too wrest her bow from her.  
"So Noire, tell me something really interesting about yourself." Narro said.  
"Um, my p-parents are two dark mages. My mother uses me as a hex test dummy."  
"Wow, that sounds awful." He said sympathetically, reaching for her right hand to pat it comfortingly.  
Noire tried to take it back. But he had already touched it, holding onto it.  
"_Don't touch my hand!_" She squealed. But the rage was already building. Her anger was taking over the fear and devouring her. It built.

It built.

It exploded out of her.

"BLOOD AND THUNDER! HOW VERY DARE YOU TOUCH THAT HAND AS YOU DID SO AND BRING THE NAME OF MY MOTHER INTO DISREPUTE? BEHOLD, YOUR DOOM!" Noire bellowed, knocking over a bottle of wine and punching a hole considerably large hole in the bar.

Severa and Moran jumped at the sound of Noire erupting. She was literally _just _about to be kissed when Noire decided to have an anger attack. Then, Severa's friends obviously thought that was the cue to begin to cause havoc.

"What are you doing?" Kjelle asked as she backed away from the boy.  
"Trying to kiss you, duh!" He said, leaning in again. Then Kjelle pushed him away.  
"I shall not kiss you fiend!" Kjelle said, reverting to knight mode. "Have at you! I shall duel thee for this! Choose your weapon!" The boy laughed at her and Kjelle punched him square in the face.

"So, do you have any party tricks?" The boy asked Nah after she had endured his countless tricks. Nah grinned, drawing her dragonstone slowly out of her pocket.  
"Just the one." Nah said. She gripped the dragonstone and her head transformed into a dragon head, roaring. The boy passed out in horror as Nah reverted to her normal head, laughing like a hyena.

"...So, summarising all I've just said, you should never call someone '_wench_' Are we clear?" Lucina asked.  
The young man sighed. "Gee, Lucina. You are way too serious." He got up to go but Lucina grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. The lad's arm made a sickening sound as he was thrown back down.  
"Do _not_ walk away from me." Lucina growled.  
"You just dislocated my arm!" He yelped.  
"That'll teach you then." Lucina said, getting up and walking over to Kjelle.

"So then I said to Severa that she had spent way to much on daisy chains, especially since she had stolen and sold my teddy bear to pay for it and-" Morgan stopped mid life-story to realise that the boy had fallen asleep. "Hey! That's rude!" The girl picked up her drink and dumped it over him. Then she sneezed violently and dropped the glass on her victim's head. "Oh sorry!" Morgan gasped. "Let's just pick the broken glass out of your hair before the blood soaks through."

Cynthia inspected Kai's hand that she was gripping. "Wow, your hand is all white, like someone's squeezed all the blood out of it and cut off the circulation!"  
"P-p-please let go." Kai whimpered. "Y-you're scaring m-m-me."  
Cynthia ignored him. "Are you gonna kiss me or what? How rude!" Kai squeaked in alarm. "You know what? You're a real charmer, dung-face!" She said sarcastically, releasing Kai's hand and crossing her arms sulkily.  
"I-I want to g-go home." Kai cried.  
"Wimp." She muttered, head-butting him in the nose.

Severa watched as her girls night fell to pieces. When it was over, she looked to Moran apologetically. "So, do you want to do this again?"

Moran fled screaming.

* * *

Severa sat sulking in her the training hall, hacking at a thick log with Vengeance. It was perhaps midnight but she didn't realise.  
"Hey." A familiar voice said.  
"Get lost Inigo!" Severa snapped. "I'm not in the mood for your flirting."  
"No shenanigans, I promise." Inigo said, raising his hands in defence. "What's up?"  
"My girls night screwed up." Severa said, hacking at the log and sending splinters everywhere. "Why can't I have NORMAL friends? GAWDS!"  
"Okay, put the ancient, powerful axe down." Inigo said, sitting next to her. "Is there anything I can do to improve your mood?"  
"Not if it involves flirting with me, doing some poxy dance or trying to make me fall for you."  
"I could bake you a pie. Dad taught me how."  
"Gaius, the thief? No, it'll probably have a stolen necklace in it. I didn't even get to kiss that cute boy!"  
"Well, do you think I'm cute, Severa?" Inigo asked, sitting closer.  
"Well, I don't know, I guess. But what does that have-"

Severa was silenced as Inigo grabbed her and kissed her gently. He let her go and smiled.  
"All better?" Inigo asked.  
Severa giggled. "Better."

* * *

**A.N: Okay, it was sort of a quick surprise ending but I wanted it to end on a happy note for Severa. Please review!**


End file.
